Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
