Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
