last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
