I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize