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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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