It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
