I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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