Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
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It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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