Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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