I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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