Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
