I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
