non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
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We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
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Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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