is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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