i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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