walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize