you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
