is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
