You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
