called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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