Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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