my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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