so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
