think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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