malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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