If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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