He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
