Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
