i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
