You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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