i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
