"it" just moved
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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