The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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