It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He better not be in your backpack
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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