Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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