and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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