I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
