If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize