I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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