the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
