Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if i died would you start the facebook group?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
