So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
