Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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