So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
