Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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