Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
