What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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