When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
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I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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