guess who came home with a hottie last night
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Manâ€™s Dating Profile
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs