I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack