North Korea, Best Korea!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
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you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
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So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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