Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
