The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize