he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So much rum. So many feels.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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