No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
