it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
