I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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