and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
