You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
