i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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