just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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