I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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