Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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