I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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