Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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