wat bout pragnant strippers??
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
