you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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