my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just cropdusted the office
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
